The Wild and Wonderful West Virginia Drinking Game

I just discovered the greatest documentary I have ever seen -- aside from Jonestown, of course. That's the greatest movie I have ever seen, and maybe just the greatest thing I've ever seen, in general, ever in life. Anyway, let's not let Jim Jones run yet another show. This moment is all about

THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA

Alirght, if you haven't figured it out yet from the trailer, this family is filled with the most badass, hilarious, lawless, backwoods, tragically depressed people on the planet. To quote Hank Williams III, "They are the true rebels of the south."

You're gonna laugh and you're gonna cry, but mostly, you're gonna drank. Because I just made a drankin' game.  (Warning: the first few minutes are going to do you in, but it's to prepare you for the rest of the film.)

To play, you will need:

• A pack of cigarettes
• A pint of whiskey 
• A 30-rack of Budweiser Original

Optional: a couple xanny bars, some crack and/or PCP, and a penchant for murder.

Drink every time:

• You see a tap dancer
• There is a reference to murder
• You are confused by someone’s gender, based on their voice
• Something really inappropriate is said around Tylor, and yet he’s blissfully playing with weird toys
• You see a cigarette within five feet of a child (and finish your beer when a child actually smokes one)
• You see a panniculus

Smoke a cigarette every time:

• Someone gets a tattoo in their own kitchen
• Someone does drugs off a toilet

Take a shot:

• For Bertie Mae's 84th birthday
• When you see tits

Pour out one for the homies when:

• You feel really, really bad for that baby 

Fortunately, this video is streaming on Netflix, so if you have a membership, which I'm pretty sure is everyone by now, you can start the fun right away! Yee haw!

Also good to know -- the movie has a perfectly perfect website.