Yeah, it Was Fun

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The Newest Member of Our Family

Remember SPUD balls? Those noisily bouncy, perfectly textured rubbery, made for elementary school recess-y balls that also popped up in every dodge ball and kick ball game you've ever played? Yeah, they were good. And they still are. I just found this beast in Duane Reade, and I am pumped beyond belief:


Not only is it a classic street game ball, bound for the blocks of New York, but it is also covered in a checkered DINOSAUR pattern. It's also Gary's new best wrestling friend.

So, yeah. SPUD league over the summer anyone? This is a serious proposition. If anyone would like to bring sweatbands, spandex biking shorts, and a long roster of potential team names, let me know. I'm down.

Rock, Paper, Idiot

Are you smarter than a computer? The New York Times lets you test your wits against one in a classic game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. The screen grab below shows that my brain came out victorious. However, this is the second time I played. The first time I lost, 4 to 11. So when robots take over the world, don't come to me for help.




Test it out for yourself.

TMI, Alex Trebek

While we're on the topic of Jeopardy!--which, let's be honest, aren't we always?--Alex Trebek got a little more personal than usual tonight. Maybe it's because it was the final day of the Teen Jeopardy tournament, and Alex likes rappin' with the kids. He's just a rappin' fool, that Alex Trebek. Just snappin' and jivin' and pronouncing things all funny. Things like neanderthal and quinoa.


Long story short, Alex's favorite animal is the muskox. That's just something he wanted us to know. He even recommended one of the 15-year-old contestants go visit a particular farm in a particular town in Alaska that raises muskoxen. He doesn't just like them, he knows where they live.


Alright Alex. We all know you're an odd guy. You spend a lot of time memorizing obscure Shakespeare passages and probably really like the smell of must. But the muskox? Really? The animal known for its "strong odor in males" and tendency to "mock copulation" when asserting dominance? Basically, this is the weird, smelly frat bro of the animal world. And it has about as much intrigue as a lump of cabbage.

I think it's safe to say Trebek's real reason for liking this generally boring creature is extremely esoteric, as all of his preferences are, I'm sure. What can you really say, except that's Alex.

Now let's humanize him a little bit by seeing him drunk!

The Wild and Wonderful West Virginia Drinking Game

I just discovered the greatest documentary I have ever seen -- aside from Jonestown, of course. That's the greatest movie I have ever seen, and maybe just the greatest thing I've ever seen, in general, ever in life. Anyway, let's not let Jim Jones run yet another show. This moment is all about

THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA

Alirght, if you haven't figured it out yet from the trailer, this family is filled with the most badass, hilarious, lawless, backwoods, tragically depressed people on the planet. To quote Hank Williams III, "They are the true rebels of the south."

You're gonna laugh and you're gonna cry, but mostly, you're gonna drank. Because I just made a drankin' game.  (Warning: the first few minutes are going to do you in, but it's to prepare you for the rest of the film.)

To play, you will need:

• A pack of cigarettes
• A pint of whiskey 
• A 30-rack of Budweiser Original

Optional: a couple xanny bars, some crack and/or PCP, and a penchant for murder.

Drink every time:

• You see a tap dancer
• There is a reference to murder
• You are confused by someone’s gender, based on their voice
• Something really inappropriate is said around Tylor, and yet he’s blissfully playing with weird toys
• You see a cigarette within five feet of a child (and finish your beer when a child actually smokes one)
• You see a panniculus

Smoke a cigarette every time:

• Someone gets a tattoo in their own kitchen
• Someone does drugs off a toilet

Take a shot:

• For Bertie Mae's 84th birthday
• When you see tits

Pour out one for the homies when:

• You feel really, really bad for that baby 

Fortunately, this video is streaming on Netflix, so if you have a membership, which I'm pretty sure is everyone by now, you can start the fun right away! Yee haw!

Also good to know -- the movie has a perfectly perfect website. 

How Have I Not Seen These Yet?

Grist has called it "stunning satire." Playboy said it's "one of the most thought-provoking games we've seen in years." And since those are basically the only two sources I trust... sold! 

Folks, I'm talking about a set of hilariously sick and twisted games from British gaming start-up, TerrorBull Games.

You can buy actual board games from their site, like War on Terror (no explanation needed) and Crunch, in which you play a fat cat bank CEO trying secure a posh retirement.

But, since we're more like emaciated alley cats trying to secure a bottle of jack while still keeping on the electric, let's go for the free printable games instead! 

Seriously, go click on the pictures and download these PDFs now.

Oh, and uh, game night anyone? I mean, it's only right that we compare these to Class Struggle.