Kids these days, amirite? The cartoons they're watching just have no understanding of the OVERWHELMING COMPLEXITY OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS AND LONELINESS AND TERROR.
Not back in the dzay. Back then, they understood that kids need to just MAN UP, and face what life is throwing at them.
Check out this super old Felix the Housecat from 1919. It's so cute! You love it so much! And then, SPOILER ALERT: it ends in tragic suicide over unwanted bastard children. No joke. Check it out:
Aside from being the bee's knees, this 1932 Betty Boop cartoon is also completely terrifying. Just wait for the ending: You're all "holy hell, what's happening with that baby?!" Kids, don't do drugs.
Jump forward a few years again to 1942, and the cartoons were all about the war. Could you imagine if there were cartoons about Iraq or Afghanistan like this now? That would be wild. This cartoon has obviously been banned, along with other wild examples like the totally not offensive or propagandizing at all PopEye episode "You're a Sap Mister Jap." (But now with NDAA 13 who knows...)
Um, ok actually maybe I take all this "different eras of cartoon creepiness" stuff back because dear lord almighty this next cartoon just ruined my day, and it's from 1986. I'm a little confused about how it can even BE, and what happened to all the kids who actually saw this on TV? Probably eating people's faces in Florida or something. Also probably Janeane Garofalo.
Wait... WHAAAAT?! I am sinking into existential hell now:
Alright, so I take it all back. Cartoons these days aren't any less scary. Shit. They're just scary in technicolor preposterousness. I need to get out of here. Moral of the story: all of our innocent child minds are doomed.
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Alice + Olivia + Digression
So... blah blah blah, it's fashion week. This time of year does nothing but make me feel short, poor, and covetous. Well, pass me the Ben & Jerry's and a gift card to Forever21, because I'm diving in head first.
Alice + Olivia are kind of the coolest, right? And they're, like, almost in my price range. There's this glimmer of hope that some day within the next decade, I can walk into an Alice + Olivia boutique and be like, "BAM - Grab me that dress in a 4, woman. Mama's taking it home with her tonight." And then I spill like a milkshake or something on it and my cat cuts a hole in the sleeve that night, but WHATEVER! It's still mine.
So um, the 20s? Yeah they're kicking it. It's good because in nine years it'll be the 20s again and then, shit, we'll all be ready to shimmy and party and just roar it the fuck up in golden age part two. It's gonna be the bees knees.
Also maybe this is the sign of the end of the prohibition coming? Eh? Eh? Wink wink?
Whatever.
Look at this couch that's almost ten times better than those clothes, but also very reminescent!
This photo was taken in the dressing room of what is clearly the coolest place to buy clothes on the planet: Post Script. It's all vintage shi shi run by ex-model Julie Skinner, whose life basically makes my existence look like a modern tragedy. Check it out.
This is some sort of *totally amazing* item you can apparently buy at her store, *if your life is made of silk and diamonds and unicorn tears that you sprinkle in your champagne to make all your dreams come true that day.* I would sell a sizable portion of my soul to wear this out to a disco dance party.
Speaking of... whatever it is I'm saying, Swirl by Daily Candy is now selling vintage bags from Balenciaga, Dior, Chloe, Gucci, Valentino -- you know, all the kids at the popular table. Really, "vintage" here means "totally outdated-looking a la 1998-2003." This was not a good time for bags, folks. Remember the tiny little u-shaped slouchy ones? And the saddle bags? Say what you will, I was not a fan. I am even less of a fan now. These things do not translate well over time. That said, this little number is pretty tight (and kinda goes with my theme here):
Skunk. Who'da thunk it. I could add this to my odd varieties of fur collection... or my curio collection. Whichever. I want to wear this in the rockiest of ways, even though that's about the lamest thing that's come out of my mouth in days. What I'm trying to say is that this bag would look best with some skin tight leather pants and a BMI of about 2.5. You should definitely only hold it if you also have a cigarette in your hand. I mean, your mouth.
It's like if Kate Moss and Nancy both had time machines, and they collided mid-trip and smashed down in 1924, you know? It's not hard, people.
By the way, 1920s chicks were totally badass. Look at these broads, just out on the town, broadin' it up. They're probably about to go flap. And drink moonshine.
On a final note (finally) this is my favorite one. Give me that head, right now.
Alice + Olivia are kind of the coolest, right? And they're, like, almost in my price range. There's this glimmer of hope that some day within the next decade, I can walk into an Alice + Olivia boutique and be like, "BAM - Grab me that dress in a 4, woman. Mama's taking it home with her tonight." And then I spill like a milkshake or something on it and my cat cuts a hole in the sleeve that night, but WHATEVER! It's still mine.
So um, the 20s? Yeah they're kicking it. It's good because in nine years it'll be the 20s again and then, shit, we'll all be ready to shimmy and party and just roar it the fuck up in golden age part two. It's gonna be the bees knees.
Also maybe this is the sign of the end of the prohibition coming? Eh? Eh? Wink wink?
Whatever.
Look at this couch that's almost ten times better than those clothes, but also very reminescent!
This photo was taken in the dressing room of what is clearly the coolest place to buy clothes on the planet: Post Script. It's all vintage shi shi run by ex-model Julie Skinner, whose life basically makes my existence look like a modern tragedy. Check it out.
This is some sort of *totally amazing* item you can apparently buy at her store, *if your life is made of silk and diamonds and unicorn tears that you sprinkle in your champagne to make all your dreams come true that day.* I would sell a sizable portion of my soul to wear this out to a disco dance party.
Speaking of... whatever it is I'm saying, Swirl by Daily Candy is now selling vintage bags from Balenciaga, Dior, Chloe, Gucci, Valentino -- you know, all the kids at the popular table. Really, "vintage" here means "totally outdated-looking a la 1998-2003." This was not a good time for bags, folks. Remember the tiny little u-shaped slouchy ones? And the saddle bags? Say what you will, I was not a fan. I am even less of a fan now. These things do not translate well over time. That said, this little number is pretty tight (and kinda goes with my theme here):
Skunk. Who'da thunk it. I could add this to my odd varieties of fur collection... or my curio collection. Whichever. I want to wear this in the rockiest of ways, even though that's about the lamest thing that's come out of my mouth in days. What I'm trying to say is that this bag would look best with some skin tight leather pants and a BMI of about 2.5. You should definitely only hold it if you also have a cigarette in your hand. I mean, your mouth.
It's like if Kate Moss and Nancy both had time machines, and they collided mid-trip and smashed down in 1924, you know? It's not hard, people.
By the way, 1920s chicks were totally badass. Look at these broads, just out on the town, broadin' it up. They're probably about to go flap. And drink moonshine.
On a final note (finally) this is my favorite one. Give me that head, right now.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Look What James Found!
If you are a lover of nerdy city history, secret locations, and watching people risk jail time (and their lives) you will be pleased with the following video, brought to you by James.
This is UNDERCITY, a documentary by Andrew Wonder that follows this guy Steve around as he lurks through NYC subway tunnels, shows us the original architecture of the Canal Street sewer (the city's first underground), interviews some people who have been living along train tracks for decades, and climbs to the tippy top of the Williamsburg bridge.
In case you haven't guessed, Andrew Wonder and Steve are super badass. Seriously, take the time to watch:
This is UNDERCITY, a documentary by Andrew Wonder that follows this guy Steve around as he lurks through NYC subway tunnels, shows us the original architecture of the Canal Street sewer (the city's first underground), interviews some people who have been living along train tracks for decades, and climbs to the tippy top of the Williamsburg bridge.
In case you haven't guessed, Andrew Wonder and Steve are super badass. Seriously, take the time to watch:
UNDERCITY from Andrew Wonder on Vimeo.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
My Kind of Tourism
Have you ever heard of thanatourism? That would be travel to "macabre destinations," according to a recent article in The Atlantic, and it's a "booming global industry."
Sweet.
Thanatourism is basically my dream come true. It's like watching all my favorite documentaries, except you get to go and think about the violence, disease, and untimely death right in front of the places where it really happened! Ideally, I'd like to go to Jonestown, but I don't think they have a tourism department set up just yet. I'm gonna have to go with Auschwitz as a Plan B.
The thing about all these morbid sites is that their tourism programs focus on some sort of rectification -- whether it's giving money back to victims' families or setting up information centers to send out the message: "Hey, let's not do this again, okay?"
Not Cambodia. At sites of historic importance to the Khmer Rouge--you know, like killing fields and stuff--the Cambodian government is setting up shop just to bring in the dough. No apologies, no paying anything back, no moral to the story, just a sign that reads "Tourism will bring money and jobs."
Real nice, Cambodia. This is almost as cool as exploiting homeless people... except way, way worse.
Apparently there are plans to build a theme park with the money brought in from people going to stare at fields where mass murder took place. Check out this lady doing it:
She looks like a strong supporter of Cambodian water slides. (and maybe fake tits)
This is like thanatourism on speed. The only thing that can really one-up going and staring at killing fields is going on rides that were shamelessly funded by them. It's about as dark as you can get.
While I am totally into thanatourism (and really hoping someone comes out with a travel guide), this next level might actually be too much for me. Historic devastation I'm into, modern tragedy, not so much. Um, unless they put up a water park in Jonestown. Everyone knows that would be the coolest.
Sweet.
Thanatourism is basically my dream come true. It's like watching all my favorite documentaries, except you get to go and think about the violence, disease, and untimely death right in front of the places where it really happened! Ideally, I'd like to go to Jonestown, but I don't think they have a tourism department set up just yet. I'm gonna have to go with Auschwitz as a Plan B.
The thing about all these morbid sites is that their tourism programs focus on some sort of rectification -- whether it's giving money back to victims' families or setting up information centers to send out the message: "Hey, let's not do this again, okay?"Not Cambodia. At sites of historic importance to the Khmer Rouge--you know, like killing fields and stuff--the Cambodian government is setting up shop just to bring in the dough. No apologies, no paying anything back, no moral to the story, just a sign that reads "Tourism will bring money and jobs."
Real nice, Cambodia. This is almost as cool as exploiting homeless people... except way, way worse.
Apparently there are plans to build a theme park with the money brought in from people going to stare at fields where mass murder took place. Check out this lady doing it:
She looks like a strong supporter of Cambodian water slides. (and maybe fake tits)
This is like thanatourism on speed. The only thing that can really one-up going and staring at killing fields is going on rides that were shamelessly funded by them. It's about as dark as you can get.
While I am totally into thanatourism (and really hoping someone comes out with a travel guide), this next level might actually be too much for me. Historic devastation I'm into, modern tragedy, not so much. Um, unless they put up a water park in Jonestown. Everyone knows that would be the coolest.
Monday, November 15, 2010
I Looove Goooold
Today, National Geographic Channel introduced me to the personal title, Local Metal Detecting Enthusiast.
You see, there is this field in Litchfield, England that has been farmed "for centuries," according to the show, Lost Gold of the Dark Ages, and there is sure to be mad loot under there.
With mad loot comes mad metal detecting, and that is where you find Local Metal Detecting Enthusiasts. They are often, coincidentally, also harmonica enthusiasts and late night whiskey drinking enthusiasts. They might even be really enthusiastic about brushing their teeth after lunch. Who knows.
But seriously, do you know how cool it is to go metal detecting and find gold and garnet relics from centuries of yore? Do you understand?! It's enough to make a girl buy a metal detector and head straight to the hills of Litchfield.
To put my enthusiasm in perspective, I have watched a feature length History Channel documentary about the Dark Ages (complete with dramatic reenactments) twice in the past two weeks, and ordered an A&E documentary about the plague from Netflix. It had to go in my queue and get mailed to me. Moving on.
When you do a Google search for "Metal Detecting Enthusiast" you get this:
I caught this guy from so many angles; he's like the world's most ardent metal detecting enthusiast ever. Also, that looks like some really cool shit.
Go forth and metal detect!
You see, there is this field in Litchfield, England that has been farmed "for centuries," according to the show, Lost Gold of the Dark Ages, and there is sure to be mad loot under there.
With mad loot comes mad metal detecting, and that is where you find Local Metal Detecting Enthusiasts. They are often, coincidentally, also harmonica enthusiasts and late night whiskey drinking enthusiasts. They might even be really enthusiastic about brushing their teeth after lunch. Who knows.
But seriously, do you know how cool it is to go metal detecting and find gold and garnet relics from centuries of yore? Do you understand?! It's enough to make a girl buy a metal detector and head straight to the hills of Litchfield.
To put my enthusiasm in perspective, I have watched a feature length History Channel documentary about the Dark Ages (complete with dramatic reenactments) twice in the past two weeks, and ordered an A&E documentary about the plague from Netflix. It had to go in my queue and get mailed to me. Moving on.
When you do a Google search for "Metal Detecting Enthusiast" you get this:
Go forth and metal detect!
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