Kids these days, amirite? The cartoons they're watching just have no understanding of the OVERWHELMING COMPLEXITY OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS AND LONELINESS AND TERROR.
Not back in the dzay. Back then, they understood that kids need to just MAN UP, and face what life is throwing at them.
Check out this super old Felix the Housecat from 1919. It's so cute! You love it so much! And then, SPOILER ALERT: it ends in tragic suicide over unwanted bastard children. No joke. Check it out:
Aside from being the bee's knees, this 1932 Betty Boop cartoon is also completely terrifying. Just wait for the ending: You're all "holy hell, what's happening with that baby?!" Kids, don't do drugs.
Jump forward a few years again to 1942, and the cartoons were all about the war. Could you imagine if there were cartoons about Iraq or Afghanistan like this now? That would be wild. This cartoon has obviously been banned, along with other wild examples like the totally not offensive or propagandizing at all PopEye episode "You're a Sap Mister Jap." (But now with NDAA 13 who knows...)
Um, ok actually maybe I take all this "different eras of cartoon creepiness" stuff back because dear lord almighty this next cartoon just ruined my day, and it's from 1986. I'm a little confused about how it can even BE, and what happened to all the kids who actually saw this on TV? Probably eating people's faces in Florida or something. Also probably Janeane Garofalo.
Wait... WHAAAAT?! I am sinking into existential hell now:
Alright, so I take it all back. Cartoons these days aren't any less scary. Shit. They're just scary in technicolor preposterousness. I need to get out of here. Moral of the story: all of our innocent child minds are doomed.
No comments:
Post a Comment