These Are a Few Of My Favorite Things

Hey remember me? Remember us? It's been a while, so let's get this self-indulgent 2012 party started with some things I like. (As opposed to most of the time, when I'll just be moaning and bitching about things I don't like.)

 Thing I Like #1: New York City in the 80s 

 Shit was ballinnn! And tuff. And fresh to deff.  (I think now it's just like flossy or something.)

People who chose to live in the city back then were making a real decision, weighing the pros and cons in a much different way than people have to do now.

CONS
 Today: the rent is 2 damn high.
 1980s: I will be surrounded by knife-wielding muggers and heroine addicts on 70% of the city's corners.

PROS
 Today: you can be anyone you want to be and do anything you want to do in the city, so long as you know the right people and the right places to hang out.
 1980s: you can be anyone you want to be and do anything you want to do in the city, absolutely anywhere, even if that entails breaking the law, because no one gives a fuck.

 So... toss up. Let's take a walk down Memory Lane and mull those ideas for a minute.

These kids are dripping with boombox pride. Forget all that hard 'n' scary stuff I was talking about before. This is just adorable. Sadly, in today's city, these kids would probably be the victims of stop and frisk and that boombox would be confiscated faster than you can say "flip the script." Damn.  

For more subway photography, check out this collection from Bruce Davidson. 

Also these! I just can't get enough: 

Man, are those trains not kind of horrifying? In the best way ever? 

Plus, at the time the graffiti was being done by the likes of Scharf and Basquiat and Haring, so, like, whaaat?! 

Clearly awesome. 

Ok, what else? 

Thing I Like #2: Sitting Down on Cool Things Made for Sitting, and Sitting Down on Cool Things That Look Like They Are Not Made for Sitting, but Actually Are 

Like this Molletta Bench by Baldessari E Baldessari! 

I hope that this thing opens and closes so, so bad. Look at that perfect-sized head hole! 

On a more traditional note, the Antelope Rocker by Ernest Race. Throw back! 

Not only does this chair make me want to read more in that charming, breezy, springtime Dove commercial apartment sort of way, but it also goes pretty well with the creepy dream I had last night about having a baby. Yeesh. Watch out, gentlemen. 

(Note: this does not go well at all with my love for 1980s New York, so I think we're safe.) 

Oh hey! Speaking of which, you know what chair does go really well with my love for 1980s New York? Blarrrr!! Bwraaaarrrr! Ack! Alack! Glurblaaaghh: 

This chair from BRC Designs' Risen in 30 Days Collection looks like something one might pull up from the East River after a particularly gruesome week of NYC's 1989-1990 murder spike. I also can't help but think of Paris Hilton. Anyone else, or is that just me? 

Alright, well let's end this chair nonsense on a lighter note. Oh no wait, let's not. Bone chairs! 

These stools made out of old cow bones by Ama Darko Williams will get your living room yelling "Yippe-kay-yay, mother fucker!" and "Pew-Pew! Pew-Pew!" Metacarpals up. 

You know what? Let's not end this chair nonsense at all. In other news.... Jesus Christ Someone Make The Swing Car by Hans Brockhage In Adult Sizes Immediately: 

This is one of the prouder moments for the Germans, wouldn't you say? Sorry I couldn't hear you, I was too busy swinging back and forth in my climby ladder chair car. 

Ok, ok, one more and then onto Thing #3. Let's breathe a fresh sigh of slightly nautical relief and appreciate the Corliss chair by Dunn. Ahhh.. 

Oh and PS - Jessica Carnevale's Puffy Dining Chair is totes a clam: 

Thing I Like #3: Rainbowy Things 

Spoons! 

Puke! (I guess?)

Bridges to nowhere! (Totally!)

Jello? (Show me how!) 

Bike Wheels! (Hey - that's pretty resourceful!) 

Phew! Hopefully that was enough non-sequitur madness to whet everyone's whistle for what is about to be the most-likely-quite-temporary-and-disappointing revival of The Daily Clam! No promises. Just dreamz. 

Got something you love? Tell me about it and I'll make the most totally smashing killer photo round-up, plus probably some awesomely terribly photoshopped collages to boot! Want to add in a cat? Boom--your cat's eating skittles. Want to get some sweet typography involved? Presto! Expletives, riddled throughout. 

LMK, K? THX! BBQ! 

Yeah, it Was Fun

Go check this out:

Hey Kids - It's National Celebrate Something Asinine Day!

Man, America. I know you all like to get drunk, but can't we just admit it and stop making up holidays to celebrate? Or why not claim it National Drinking Century? That should clear everything for a while.

Whatevs. Until that happens (which, duh, it will), here are some things I'll be drinking to for the next few weeks. These are real holidays, celebrated by totally normal people, all across America, particularly in those parts of America where the majority of citizens have garden gnomes, and seasonal flags.

Ok, let's start things off right with June 19-25: Carpenter Ant Awareness week. Only one day left to get all your carpenter appreciation out! I'll start you off with a little factoid (for your awareness)-- carpenter ants hollow out sections of trees to make wood, but they DON'T eat it! That's termites, son. Now you know.


June 27 - Decide to be Married Day. Watch out James. I'll be doing shots and dreaming up my best proposal speech, which will probably contain the word "di'ntcha."

ALSO on June 27: "Happy Birthday to You" Day. This is especially offensive to people actually born on the day of June 27, so I'll be spending most of my partying time pouring one out for all those homies.

June 30: National Hand Shake Day. Germaphobes, get your gloves on. And peace be with you.


July 2: I Forget Day. Man, if there was ever a holiday to drink through, it's this one. Plus it's fourth of July weekend, so get to it!

July 6: Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day. So, uh...yeah. Looks like you better hurry up and get yourself a webmaster. Preferably one who likes to shotgun beers.

July 10: Don't Step on a Bee Day. A grueling day for beekeepers everywhere. Cheers to you, beekeepers!

Whew! Well, after all those hard-partyin' celebrations, I'm going to need to take a little breather. But rage on America, you crazy, crazy bastards.

BRAAAAAAIINNSSS

Oh snap! The Daily Clam is back from the dead, mud sucker! (This post has been censored by TNT, who is sick of all my bad language and stink.) I got some interns around, got some junior associates around, and now, all of a sudden my life is back on track.

What better way to celebrate coming back from the dead than with a post about zombies?

Zombie love is the most important morbid dead stuff craze, clearly outweighing any of this current vampire nonsense. Those bloodsuckers are so petty and short-lived, they're already being taken over by werewolves. Full moons, rah rah. No way is any of that stuff ever going to hold a candle to zombies.

Over the decades, man's love for dead men eating other men has been expressed in a great number of ways. There are the movies, duh. But there are also books and calendars and garden ornaments and just all sorts of crazy stuff.

And there are many, many people--just average, ordinary, typically drunk people--who love to pretend they are the risen dead.

You have emo zombies...

Embarrassing dad zombies...

The zombies who like turtles...


This guy...

The I have a strange message about feminism zombies...

The holy shit you're actually a zombie zombie...

Zombie bunny?


And the always-confusing, not quite sure how I'm supposed to be feeling about this, sexy zombies.

Whew, what a thrill ride! Feel free to send in all your favorite zombie pictures because - hey! who's working?

Addendum: Remember that time we were those average, ordinary, typically drunk people who love to pretend they're the risen dead? We loved it so much.

Clam Jam #18: The Power of the Remix

So I'm heading off to New Orleans tomorrow for work, like a big girl. What better song title for a NOLA trip than "Heat and Hot Water"? Is that actually a total non-sequitur? Whatevs. It makes sense to me.

Here's the band ARMS performing the OG version in the studio (chosen so that once in a while these things can actually be videos, and not just a stagnant picture of a cat or something.)



Alright, so it's a song. It has some good points, some personality, a little build up. The guy's voice could be stronger, which it is in the actual mastered version. (Here, if you care for some reason.)

BUT... the Birds & Batteries Remix! It's so great. It's like wait... OG version? Who are you? Get out of my ears and make way for this:

Another Amazing Thing I Now Own

All of this purchase bragging is getting ridiculous. Am I becoming a hauler? Could I somehow be like the Fowlers? (Note: these ladies are great people to love loathing on the internet.)

Whatever, I don't care. Becuase in addition to my AMAZING bouncy ball, I have just purchased an EVEN MORE AMAZING TIMES TEN jacket, and it deserves great amounts of jaw dropping recognition. Behold:


Is it almost enough to overtake THE COAT in its awesomeness?


Join our Town Hall debate Saturday, May 14th to voice your opinion. It's actually on twitter. It's a town hall twibate. #koolkidskoatz


Um, for those of you who clicked the Fowler link and watched the video:
a. "Gimme, gimme. Buy, buy."
b. I hope this jacket helps awkard, choke collar-wearing tweens "understand what they would want more."

Ok PEACE I'm about to go hit the streetz with this thing on and blow everyone's minds.

Clam Jam #17

Sometimes you just gotta get your head out of the city game, you know? This song. It makes it happen. It's almost like I'm not spending my entire life at work, and instead I'm just driving down winding, sunny roads, off to sit on a porch and play music and drink beer out of cans, and maybe later on put my toes in fresh, running water somewhere. Oh, high school summers. I want you so bad. Jesse Woods makes me think meaningfully about the leaves and clouds passing over my head as I'm walking through the concrete jungle every morning. And I sincerely appreciate him for that.