First of all, a giant asteroid is totes going to crash into Earth. I know, I know, it's exciting news. But hold on to your panties and save yourself a trip to Ricky's (obviously we're gonna get all snazzed up for the greatest disaster of our lifetime). This bad boy isn't going to hit until 2036, though first it's going to drop by and wave hello in 2029, passing just a few thousand miles from our atmosphere. God is such a tease, isn't he?
The real question is, how do respectable 48-year-olds celebrate the end of the world? I don't know the answer to that, but I think it's safe to say whiskey is a better apocalyptic beverage than, say, a mai tai. Feel free to brainstorm awesome party ideas. Maybe you can find inspiration when you calculate the impact of the asteroid with this handy simulation program. At any rate, we have some time to think about it.
Ok, but asteroids? I mean, so yawn, right? Once you've seen Ben Affleck act his way through an asteroid situation, you know it's a dead topic. Remember that Armageddon scene with the animal crackers? I mean that just a doomsday scenario killer.
Not to worry! We can always die from magnetic polar shifts. That sounds cool, right? This article is really poorly written, and the author apparently hates commas, but it's a fun read nonetheless.
Superstorms with winds reaching 300 - 400 miles per hour? Time to whip out your wind surfing gear! We're gonna cruise our way into the afterlife.
Rampant DNA mutations? Eh... I'm going to have to work on a positive spin for that one.
Maybe we'll just all die like this (at least some of us definitely will. definitely. no question.). Obviously dying from an asteroid/devastating magnetic pole shift is a lot cooler than going down in a pipeline explosion--err, literally--so I'm going to try and hold out for the former.
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