You're Cut Off!

Have you guys heard of You're Cut Off! yet? Never has a show incited me to write hate mail, but this one, THIS ONE. Well, it's the fucking worst. I literally looked up the cast's full names so I could try to hunt them down, and figure out a way to publicly chastise them.

Is that creepy? Don't answer that.

Apparently this show, which follows spoiled "princesses" after their family cuts them off from all their money and support, is in it's second season. I've just been blissfully cut off from what is clearly humanity's black hole, televised. These girls are like 28 years old! How is that possible?

These are real human beings who have spent 28 years on the earth, yet still have no idea what happens on this planet. They have tearful realizations that working minimum wage means you make about $30 a day. Who knew?! They found out there are shoes that cost less than $300. Seriously... who. knew.

Also, despite having been around for 28 years, and spending approximately $1 million dollars on themselves for each of those years, these girls still manage to look TERRIBLE. I mean like the "oof honey, get yourself fixed UP" kind of terrible, even in their head shots for the show:

That's why the show is here -- to teach them how to be people. They learn how to share money and write up grocery lists. That's really hard! And they learn how to have a group conversation without throwing a temper tantrum that gets them held down by security and kicked off the show. Actually, they didn't quite learn that one yet. Maybe next season!

So all these girls are really awful, but Hana Hills? Hana Mother Fucking Hills. She is a TRIP! What a doozy! Can we take a peeksy at her twitter page to see how awful she is?

Woof. It's just a yikes, yikes world for Hana Hills. Hana I Wish I was Paris Hilton. Hana Run for the Hills and Buy me a Pack of Cigarettes because I'm going TANNING Today. (No really, that was an episode theme.)

And I mean... that's about it. The show is pretty awful. Awful in that these girls are terrible humans, but also awful in that they're clearly forced to say some pretty idiotic things, even to their standards. And god damn, those are some low, low standards. Like, if there were standard deviations for how terribly low people's standards can be, these girls would be... you know... really really far to the left, where the curve goes on closer and closer to the X axis for infinity or something. Basically what I'm saying is these girls standards are as poor as my math skills. And the same goes for the producers of the show.

So now you totes want to watch a clip right? Well VH1 sucks and won't let me embed it. Here's a clip of the girls fighting about cigarettes and wine! Yeah!