Sounds of Shellfish Video Consortium (a.k.a. The Most Epic Clam Jam of All Time)

Put your party hats on. We're sinking deep to the bottom of the sea for the most clamtastic underwater dance party this side of the universe. (I know that because, you know, water's tough to find out there.)

Now, we all know there are many kinds of shellfish. But let's kick it off with the obvious. (I just can't contain myself.)

Can you believe that video exists? Man, that was fun. On to the next!

If you thought that last video was made by a person who's probably, generally pretty creepy and is keeping the whole "having friends" thing to a bare minimum, then what do you think about the guy who made this?

That song is as good as that video was sad and confusing. The description? "Pulling Mussels (From the Shell) with footage from 1960 Seaside Heights, New jersey." Sure, why not. Let's just mash those two things together, because what else are you going to do with your "Footage of Seaside Heights, New Jersey" collection? Can't just leave that sitting next to the TY Beanie Babies your whole life.

Hey guys... so now that we've gotten two clam jams under our belt, want to see another totally odd, slightly creepy, this time non-sequitur video?

Man, I could hardly get through that! Nice video Parker McParkinsons. Ah, but how I love Stephen Malkmus. And oysters! It's a perfect pairing.

Don't worry, this next video is an actual music video... oh no wait, it's totally not. That's just footage from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. Just some random clips that have absolutely no connection with the song. God, youtubians. What are you doing with your lives?

You know, I bet all the other shellfish make fun of crabs for their stupid legs. Who walks on those? Stupid crabs.

Alright. I've had about enough of this unrelated content. At least the Elvis fans know how to make a video...

This, by the way, is both my personal mantra and my life's theme song.

Ok, should we stop at five for now? Secretly (err.. not so secretly) I have a couple more up my sleeve. I was putting them all together to make Asher a CD that would UTTERLY BLOW HIS MIND. Guess I kinda ruined it. But what else can you do when it's 75 degrees out and you're stuck at your desk watching the sun slowly set, waiting for your boss to get out of a meeting so you can present him your work, you know? What else do you do?

Maybe when I get home I'll put up the rest...