In case you live under a rock, or have been too drunk off Four Loko in the past week to catch the news, Camel has unveiled a brand new marketing campaign geared at the hip, young, anti-mainstream demographic.
[Redacted: 5,000 word rant about the futility of marketing to anything hip, young, or anti-mainstream]
The campaign is a basic redesign of Camel's classic cancer stick packaging, turbo-powered with a social media concept that will actually work on a maybe young, probably not hip, blinded by the mainstream demographic.
The campaign goes like this: Camel's gonna give you 10 clues about 10 cities as it goes around the country showing you how cool it is! Guess the city and you can win some shit!
Apparently these are the best places to smoke cigarettes in America:
Austin. Out of all the cities on the list, Austin is the most likely to have people showing off these packs without a drop of irony.
Bonneville Salt Flats. Is this even a place? Moot.
The Haight San Francisco. I bet California is really, really pissed about this.
New Orleans. These people have been shit on by natural disasters and not-so-natural disasters. Let them have their cigarettes.
Route 66? That's either a major shun to a city along Route 66, or living proof we need more maps and such.
Seattle. Yeah, yeah. Kurt Cobain.
Sturgis SD. At least they specified the state here, Bonneville.
Vegas. The hookers are gonna be so psyched!
Williamsburg. Ok. Ok. .... Okay. This is the only one I can really talk about with indefatigable truth. But it's not worth it, man. It's just not fucking worth it.
Winston-Salem. Duh
If this campaign is really targeted toward the 20-somethings of Williamsburg, The Haight, New Orleans, etc. then it's just pitiful. In trying to express their fear of this campaign, CTFK is marketing these cigarettes to me way more effectively than Camel ever will. At first, this makes me think it's time for R.J. Reynolds to find a new marketing team. But then I stop for like two seconds and think about Billy the 16-year-old bass player who just started to get his brother to buy him Natty Lights. He wants to smoke Camels so, so bad now. R.J. Reynolds, you are an evil genius.
Obviously, there is some uproar. All the politicians and public health officials in of each of these perfectly respectable party cities are pissed to admit their hood is a great place to get really drunk and chain smoke in.
But in the grand scheme of R.J. Reynolds' schemes, it's really not that bad. It's not like they're sending promotional packages filled with 5-shot drink recipes and coasters that say "Layer it on, go 'til daybreak." That was so 2005.
In some ways, R.J. Reynolds is kind of like North Korea. No matter how many sanctions they get, they're going to shoot off some missiles now and again. And you can't let an ad campaign lead to nuclear warfare. I say we all just sit back, relax, take a deep carcinogen-filled breath and let Camel have their little ads. Everyone knows the cool kids are smoking American Spirits and rollies anyway.
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